Each week we send our Queen of the Weird, Claire Lumiere, into the wilderness of the Internets to find the weirdest reports from the Underground, CounterCulture and the Paranormal mileau! If you have news that you feel demands the attention of the SittingNow community then drop Claire an email at claire@sittingnow.co.uk
A magic cow survived a lightning strike!!!!
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The ungrowing baby continues to befuddle doctors.
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A school teacher from St. Paul unwisely sent an “insensitive” email about a Holocaust simulation she planned on organizing at the school. The email subject was labeled “Torture Time!” Her intent, she says, was to give the staff “needed stress relief and entertainment.” In the reenactment students would wear yellow stars and teachers would be on this “day of sheer pleasure [Nazi Officers and becoming Adolfs.”
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In India, a man is being put in jail for accepting a 50 cent bribe twenty-four years ago.
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A man awoke from a one-night stand to discover the woman he had been with had carved his name into his arm and given him various other “tattoos.” He will doubtfully mix vodka and valium before he goes to bed with another woman.
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A cop from Boston was accused of using his police cruiser to escort porn stars to a club.
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A boy from Minnesota was allegedly forced to unclog a toilet with his bare hands by his school principal.
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A woman from Indianna weeped her way into Long John Silvers and cried during the robbery, “If I wasn’t down and out, I wouldn’t be doing this.”
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A teen in Sacramento revealed on webcam that he planned on taking his own life, but his online buddy proceeded to inform Sacramento police beforehand. News.cnet.com says, “There. Finally a social networking feel-good story.”
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San Francisco’s teen death and birthing rates apparently balance one another out.
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A man from Yorkshire who’d finally had it with dentail pains and couldn’t afford a dentist decided to pull 13 of his own teeth out with pliers.
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A Volkswagen beetle was removed from the Lions Gate bridge in an engineering prank gone awry. The students reportedly have already suspended the shell of another beetle successfully off the Golden Gate Bridge and do it to mark the beginning of engineering week at university.
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A man entering Melbourne was caught with pigeons stuffed in his pants!
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The story of man who was imprisoned for 30 years for a murder he did not commit!
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A student with smelly feet has been allowed back into the classroom!
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Groundhog Phil has declared that there will be six more weeks of winter in the United States.
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Five second-graders were found in possession of heroin and passed around packets in school.
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A Belgian thief accidentally missed in his plan to drill his way into a bank deposit box and turned up instead in the toilets.
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Did anyone celebrate World Nude Day this past week?
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Michael Phelps unites pot smokers? And Alternet.org posts, “Michael Phelps has no business apologizing for taking bong hits.”
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Sheyla Hershey broke up with her boyfriend to “follow [her] dream”… of her having the world’s largest set of breasts.
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At TED2009, Bill Gates released mosquitoes into the audience saying, “Not only poor people should experience this.” It was confirmed that in fact, they insects were not carrying malaria.
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THERE IS INTELLIGENT LIFE OUT THERE!
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In San Francisco, a baby was born with twelve fingers and toes!
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A Floridian man was arrested for having a threesome with plastic dolls in a public parking lot.
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In a very unusual case, a woman’s kidney was extracted from her vagina!
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So how much would it take to build a Death Star? About $15 septillion. That’s 24 zeros.
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Msnbc.com reports that “problem gambling may rise as economy falls.”
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A new era in fundamental physics?
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Who knew you could fail a driving test 771 times, undeterred?
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Japan does it again! Little look-alikes!
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A milk man in London who had been supplying the aching elderly with medical marijuana is having his prison sentence suspended.
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A regular Maleficent was uninvited to her sister’s wedding reception and in her rage proceeded to take her down the bride on the porch.
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An Ohio community’s water was poisoned by hydrochloric acid accidentally added to the water supply by a chemical treatment plant.
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