A Turkish inmate in Western Germany escaped from prison recently by hiding in a cardboard box that was promptly mailed off. The drug dealer made his escape by cutting a hole as soon as it made it out of the premises and has still not been found.


A geek couple has divorced over the computer game Second Life after wife Amy caught her husband David cheating on her- digitally! In the game, people lead alternative existences with self-created personas – or avatars – which are generally a more suave and sophisticated or attractive version of themselves. When Amy caught her husband making love to a pixelized prostitute, she hired an online private investigator to check on David’s digital infidelity. So it went, David had been “seeing” an American virtual girl for two weeks. The couple divorced for “unreasonable behavior.”

flying lemur species have been found!
Due to a split in the species, which is actually the species of an acrobatic primate- these “lemurs” have evolved to glide!


In El Paso, Texas, the parents of students on a
dance team laced the contents of a baked goods basket for a rival team with bleach and rat poison! Though the food was confiscated before anyone had any, members of the rival team say they wish to press criminal charges.


In Beijing, a police chief has arrested 48 of his relatives. So much for familial exceptions- he sent 25 relatives either to jail , then had others sent for “re-education through labor,” or punished in other ways, a report said. The offenses included such crimes as far between stealing a woman’s handbag to beating local teachers at a primary school while drunk. The police chief says, “In the first few years, I did not dare head back to my hometown to pass the New Year holiday, but now it’s all right. Everyone understands and supports what I was doing at the time.”


Remember the baby on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind album? He’s 17 years old now and has decided to recreate the album cover. He says he intends to use the pick up line, “want to see my penis… again?”


The pastor of a mega-church in Dallas, Texas has decided to issue a challenge to church-goers: he has given the married congregants the assignment to have sex for a week straight, claiming that while he sees society advocating promiscuity and debauchery, sex should be reclaimed for married couples.


Meanwhile, the The American Humanist Association is making efforts in a $40,000 holiday campaign to put out ads on DC buses reading, “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake.” The spokesman of the group, Fred Edwords says, “Our reason for doing it during the holidays is there are an awful lot of agnostics, atheists and other types of nontheists who feel a little alone during the holidays because of its association with traditional religion.” Edwords said the purpose isn’t to argue that god does not exist or to change minds about a deity, although he adds, QUOTE “we are trying to plant a seed of rational thought and critical thinking and questioning in people’s minds.” The group defines humanism as “a progressive philosophy of life that, without theism, affirms our responsibility to lead ethical lives of value to self and humanity.” And last month, the British Humanist Association had a similar campaign on London buses with ads saying, “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.”


On the other hand, religion has its purposes for others, or would- if they didn’t get caught like a New York City man who tried to smuggle a date rape drug into the US by claiming the vessels holding the liquid contained, “holy water.”


And since it is indeed the holiday season I will recommend possibly the greatest gift you can offer to any and every person you know: the Feng Shui Fortune Compass! Ladies and gentlemen, if you want gratitude, this is it, fortunecompass.com is selling this winner for a mere $399. With it, you will, QUOTE instantly know which directions in your environment offer you the most support possible for your personal Success, Relationships, Health, and Spiritual Growth.” Dear listeners, it is a good day when machines can directly orient us toward general life improvement and success!