If you were lucky enough to be around in the heady days of AOL Chat – and they were heady – you may have run into Bloodninja. Now, if you did run into Bloodninja, then you were having cybersex…shame on you.

Until the recent past, not a lot was know of this shady troll. But ‘his’ work is beloved by veterans of the Internet:

Bloodninja : Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14 : Aight.

Bloodninja : Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14 : I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.

Bloodninja : Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14 : Oh, I like to play dress up.

Bloodninja : Me too baby.

BritneySpears14 : I kiss you softly on your chest.

Bloodninja : I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14 : Hey…

Bloodninja : I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14 : Funny I still don’t see it.

Bloodninja : I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14 : You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

Bloodninja : Don’t fuck with me biznitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

Bloodninja : I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl :2 Druid.

BritneySpears14 : Don’t ever message me again you piece.

Bloodninja : Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of :metal.

Bloodninja : King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. :Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

Bloodninja : You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.

Bloodninja : Baby?

Much speculation circled the Internets about the true identity of this brave magical warrior, until eventually Fugly.com claimed the rights.

They were really created by the staff of Fugly.com and they are called The Fugly Victims.

Somebody stole a lot of them, changed the name in the conversation to bloodninja and then posted them all over the Internet. The conversations are all original materal, created by the staff of Fugly.com. You can read them all here.

SFW kthxbai!

Ever been at work and tried explaining what Pedobear is to a colleague? It’s pretty difficult (trust me). Googling the cute little scamp will often bring on a torrent of abusive images, or just straight up pr0n. 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica are both out of the question, so where do you turn?

Whatport:80 is your man! It’s basically ED, but edited so it still contains delicious lulz, but presented in a more verbose and work-ban-hammer-friendly format. So go and ‘meme-explain’ to your hearts content, without the worry of being branded as a perve/pedo/anonymous (highlight where appropriate).

Anyway, someone tell me where I can one of these badboys:

DO WANT!

Ken Eakins

“Encyclopaedia Dramatica is being attacked, has lost ads and has no money. Please help us by making a donation to the site. You can donate using your credit card.”