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Elks

When I recieved this CD to review something really annoying happened. Do you ever get that thing where you have heard the name of band, and cannot remember why? Anyway, that happened with this album.  After some e-sleuthing I tracked them back to a great label that everyone should checkout called ‘Unlabel‘, and I finally had that ‘oh yeah’ moment. Back in the summer of 2007 this band released a really cool single called ‘The Acorns’ which I picked up to review for a now-dead music mag. I re-read the review, and it seems that I still have the same problem catagorising the music then as I do now.

I know it’s vauge, but I can best describe Elks as a ‘rock band’. I only use this catagory as the band seem to be unsatisfied remaining in any one particular corner of any musical cabinet that I try to file them in (which can be a bane, as I tend to file my CD’s this way). This is not a critisism by any means, I think this is a great album, but it makes reviewing it a little tricky at times.

Go buy this *clickclickclick*

Go buy this *clickclickclick*

The album really does take you down some very unexpected avenues, veering between catchy, dare I say ‘Idlewild-esque’ pop songs, and jagged Hirameka Hi-Fi meets Cove type angularities. The mood of the record really swings around all over the place as well. Opener ‘Sorry for the Inconveniance’ teases you with some stripped-down Shellacy guitar wrangling, then leaps into some gentle and uplifting epicness in ‘Left Standing’. ‘London’ sees the addition of exrtra singer Deborah Louise Grant and violinist Joanna Corr, adding yet another layer to the ever-shifting tone of the record.

Overall this record is a great introduction to Elks to anyone that cares to listen. I am left feeling both sonically satisfied, and waiting with interest to see where they’ll take us next. Recomended!

Ken Eakins

Elks on Myspace

The Great Outdoors Recording Company blog

Ken Eakins

scilon-11

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I wanted to approach this review with a completely open mind, ignoring all the stuff I’ve read over the last couple of years, to give the Church of Scientology a chance to impress me. Obviously this is neurologically impossible but I did try so don’t blame me for the conclusions I came to.

Some of you may be wondering why I am even bothering to review this DVD ( http://www.scientology.org/#/intro_scroll ) which got delivered to my place of work a couple of weeks ago. Well, it’s for the same reason as I used to watch Top of the Pops. It’s important to know your enemy. I have read plenty of stuff about the COS but its all come from “haters” intent on letting people know about some of the more eccentric aspects of this “religion”. I have never actually had any dealings with members or read any of the official blah and any scientist will tell you that this is not objective.

The DVD package is slick and corporate, and warnings about trademarks abound. The disc is divided up into:
1. Beliefs and Practices
2. Human Rights
3. Anti-Drug
4. The Way To Happiness
5. Narconon
6. Applied Scholastics
7. Volunteer Ministers

The tone is slightly defensive from the outset as if it is a video rebuttal to all the “misconceptions” that are out there, but surely as an introduction to the COS they should approach the viewer as a blank canvas? Poor grammar is endemic throughout the presentation with a reverential tone being sought but missed. These facts coupled with “Brass Eye” visuals and the upbeat New Age music make it look overwhelmingly like a corporate video, and as such I was already finding it quite difficult to remain objective. I was literally three minutes into it.

After the basic introduction, they begin to set out their stall giving some specifics about their purpose and how they aim to enrich the lives of people prepared to join, but this is couched in such a way as to create validity for themselves. The video talks about “inalienable rights” to free speech and human dignity, concepts which are very difficult to argue against, but they are explained in such a way as to make anyone criticising the COS look like a regular Mugabe, rather than someone who has healthy skepticism.

The film goes on to talk about their beliefs that mentally ill people should not be dealt with “outside of religion”, the first mention of their anti-psychiatric principles. The idea that even established religions should be the sole carers of the mentally ill is such a grotesque vision that I don’t feel any need to talk about this further. They also talk about their role in disasters of both the natural and man-made kind. Sadly they are not claiming responsibility for them but they do, somewhat outrageously, claim to have been at “the forefront” during such events as the New Orleans floods and 9/11. I personally can’t see Police and Firefighters allowing Scientologists to pitch in, but I have no proof that this is the case so I’ll give them that one. This extended sequence of interviews with real live Scientologists gives me a little more knowledge. Scientologists have beautiful teeth and come in all ethnicities. They are usually young and beautiful and it’s always sunny where they are. There are also a disproportionate number of attractive (if somewhat earnest) young women. Sounds pretty good huh?

After this section comes the “Basic principles of Scientology”. This is the fun bit where they start giving out advice on how to be a human and understand other humans. It’s like watching a weird naturalization video for alien invaders. They assign a scale of numbers to human emotions. How does a number make an emotion easier to understand? They talk about the “urges to survive” and arrange them in concentric circles from the desire to survive as an individual (on the inside) to the desire to survive as a “universal entity” in the outermost circle. The science on display here is not that complicated and for me it is a way of making people feel amazed at things they already know, so that the COS can take the credit and welcome them to the fold. This strange explanation of the meaning of life is topped off with the first mention of some of their darker secrets. “You have a body. You have a mind. You are a Thetan”. Their explanation of “thetan” as stemming from the Greek letter “Theta” or consciousness sounds innocuous but anyone who knows about “Operating Thetans” and the levels they can ascend to will be beginning to see the light. Or dark as the case may be. Then comes my favorite bit of COS twaddle: auditing. Auditing (via the e-meter) is carried out by an auditor (duh) who is “highly trained” to ask probing questions which get you to reveal areas of difficulty in your life. The auditor does this with an e-meter ( http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/E-Meter/ ) which if you look at the basic information on it does …well… very little.

The next section of the DVD is the highlight for me, a sort of apocalyptic mini-movie telling us how we are all trapped in a cycle of anger and hate because we never deal with our desire to want to go back to a state of child-like innocence. The smooth narration plays out over weird crypto-fascist marching and stock footage of riots whilst at one point there is a symbol of a crossed lightning bolt and a sickle in the background while a Nazi-esque man rants from a podium. There is a certain anti-New World Order feel to it all and it makes me wonder whether, in their bid for limitless appeal, they are not only attempting to appeal to the rich and poor, black and white but also those disenfranchised of their government; a tough market to break but lucrative.

After this comes a barrage of human rights promos covering the thirty basic human rights as endorsed by the UN. The adverts are ultra slick and obviously very expensive, their only downfall being that they are utterly nauseating. Being that they were designed to raise awareness of these rights, I can’t justifiably condemn them. It is interesting that the COS itself does not take the credit for them but an arm of it “Youth For Human Rights” ( http://www.youthforhumanrights.org/index.htm) .
This is one of a few satellite organizations that are extensions of the COS. The others (namely Narconon (http://www.narconon.org ) and “Freedom” magazine ( http://www.freedommag.org ) also pursue philanthropic work whilst simultaneously raising the profile of Scientology. And this profile is worryingly high. In video testimonies to the work of Freedom, a large number of unnamed politicians and advisors laud the investigative nature of the magazine. In some cases they credit Scientology but in some they only refer to the magazine, but amongst the number prepared to appear in this C.o.S funded venture were four members of the House of Representatives, one member of the House of Congress and a member of the Philippine cabinet. I also learn that there is a Centre for Scientology Studies at the University of Mexico. It seems that the Church of Scientology is making a bigger play for developing countries than developed ones, and with the money that they appear to have at their disposal it might get them the sort of widespread following they currently lack in the developed world.

After this bout of self aggrandizement they decide to give me a little light relief with some G’s doing some beat-boxing in “da city” while someone does a rap about human rights. I don’t like rap about human rights. I like rap about smackin’ ho’s and lickin’ shots but that’s hardly commendable is it?

Then I’m treated to the “United” music video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nptzg2odTKw ) In my opinion this is a happy-clappy, gospel hip-hop, shite-fest of immense proportion, so bad in fact that no musician actually takes any credit for it. It did do one useful thing though, it made me so angry that I had to turn the DVD off. After an hour I was only half way through and I had to give up. So this is not a complete review. I failed to watch the whole DVD and so any conclusion I could come to has been rendered flawed. In light of this I am going to suggest that my quick, alternate review would say this:

Scientology is a pyramid-scheme religion for robotic losers and naive, emotionally unstable yuppies. It is a cult that does not even have the advantages of wild-eyed charismatic leaders, unless you count Tom Cruise. They don’t even wear matching tracksuits and all of this comes from the mind of L. Ron Hubbard. That should tell you all you need to know.

Daddytank

ASDA will never be the same again!

ASDA will never be the same again!

FINALLY!! The good word of Rev. Billy and his amazing anti-consumerism gospel choir, is making its way to British soil:

“Reverend Billy and the Life After Shopping Gospel Choir is touring the UK May 19 to June 1st. We will perform in Norwich, Stamford, Cambridge, Colchester, Ipswich, Exeter, Bristol, Liverpol, B’ham, London and Brighton.

We will – in each of these cities – offer our “Fabulous Worship” in a local performance venue. In most cities we will meet local activists and exorcise chain store cash registers, parade with them and speak truth to power with a foolish flourish!

It’s a very interesting time in the life of those of us resisting the DEMON MONOCULTURE! — often in Britain centered squarely on hope to disinvite Tesco’s…”

Sketch of “Shopocalypse” Tour

May
Thu 21 Norwich Arts Centre 01603 660352
Fri 22 Grantham Guildhall Arts Centre Grantham 01476 406158
Sun 24 Colchester Arts Centre (afternoon) 01206 500900
Sun 24 Cambridge Junction (evening) 01223 578000
Tue 26 Exeter Phoenix 01392 667080
Wed 27 Bristol Arnolfini 0117 917 2300
Thu 28 Liverpool Blue Coat 0151 702 5324
Fri 29 Birmingham Fierce Festival 0121 244 8080
Sat 30 London Battersea Arts Centre 0207
Sun 31 To Be Confirmed
June
Mon 1 Brighton The Basement 01273 699733

As well as performances and activism by the good Reverend and his flock, screenings of the amazing Morgan Spurlock produced ‘What Would Jesus Buy‘ are to be screened at these following locations:

Norwich Cinema City (18 May)
Colchester Arts Centre (23 May)
Oxford Picturehouse, (27 May)
Exeter Picturehouse (28 May)
Bristol Arnolfini (7th and 14th )
Liverpool FACT (11 June)

With more preaching dates, and film screenings to be announced, this looks to be an excellent week for all of us Brits, and of course expect the SittingNow reporting machine to be on the scene collecting footage and interviews! If you want an idea of what Rev. Billy and his cohorts are like, check this video from his great site

Ken Eakins

So, episode 18 should be out tomorrow! Sorry about he delays on it!

We’ve been working on upgrading everything on this end, including the show itself! So here’s what to expect:

• New music section in the main show by Daddytank, this will be mainly underground/unsigned stuff, but very cool!
• New music show: Myself and Mario will host this each week. It will be a short 30 minute show covering loads of cool bands that we like. There should be interviews with some cool artists as well!
• Website 2.0! We are getting a complete facelift on the site, hoping to make it more user-friendly
• new messageboard! I hated the old message board, and the new one is sweeeet!

So, once again, sorry for any delays recently, but we are working hard behind the scenes to get a whole new SittingNow up and running for your enjoyment!

Ken

Hey, just thought i’d let you, our dutiful readers and listeners, know that we have finally sorted all of our technical gremlins and will be resuming normal service as of Friday this week!

Show – The show is back this Friday morning and is an interviewy discussiony type affair with mysef and Raymond Wiley. In this ep we will be discussing the ups and downs of conspiracy belief. After that, Dr. Bob Curran returns to wax undead again, this time however, about Zombies…swwweeeeeet!

Reviews – As of this week, we will be reviewing Books, Music, Audiobooks, gigs and Films. We had a bit of a problem sorting how this was going to be done, but that’s all sorted now, so expect that!

Equipment – This is all looking gooood now (fingers crossed), I invested a bit more of the mighty Sitting Now budget on some nice gadgets to make the show sound better and easier to produce, so we’ll hopefully be back to our usual weeklyness as of now!

Finally, we are all over Social Networks now like a bunch of cheap ho’s! you can find us on Facebook here, Myspace by clicking the link in our menu bar and we’ll have a brand new Twitter account sorted and active on the site, i’ll let you know the address sooon!

Exciting stuff!

During the past years, methods of finding and treating cancer have advanced considerably; however many of the sufferers either don’t get diagnosed in time or don’t stick to the warnings of an age when everything gives you cancer.

However, unexpected help could be found in man’s best friend The Dog. This type of animal has demonstrated, in many cases, the ability to smell the malady immediately after the first cancer cells started developing inside the body.

By far the most talented cancer smelling dog of our times is Marine, a Labrador pooch which can identify any form of cancer with success. Unfortunately Marine cannot reproduce because of a surgical procedure she had gone through at age 4.

(editor: further research has shown that the dog is to be cloned!)

The British artist Pollyanna Pickering was exploring the Bhutan area when she was shown by the Brokpas people at their monastery, the scalp of what was considered a once live yeti. She claims the scalp still had a bone intact and was larger than any skull of a human or ape and “had tufts of reddish-black fur coming out of it and was mounted on a pole and seen as a holy relic.” Unfortunately, while photography is prohibited in the monastery, Pollyanna sat with the native people who described the ‘migoi’ or yeti, to her, and gave her suggestions to alterations in her drawing of the timid, roughly 2.4 meter (8 ft.) creature. The photo to the left is the result of this “photofit.”

Yeti expert from the UK, Johnathan Downes, of the Centre of Fortean Zoology, claimed, “This is potentially explosive. If this scalp is authentic and has bone still attached, it will be probably the single most important zoological find since the discovery of the coelacanth in the late 1930s.” He continued, “If it does exists, we now think it a likely descendant from a giant ape called Gigantopithecus blackii which lived in India and China around half a million years ago and was between eight to 10.5 feet tall.” He believes it is more closely related to an orangutan than an ape or gorilla, and that the descriptions from the natives of its shy behavior fit previously gathered information on the not-so-mythical beast.

The Centre of Fortean Zoology, which researches mysterious wildlife, plans to send a five-man expedition to the Russian republic of Karbadino Balkaria toward the middle of June to search for the yeti, while Pollyanna’s yeti sketches will be displayed in the Land of the Thunder Dragon exhibition, touring the United States and Canada, then showing in Oaker from June 14 to 29.

Pollyanna Pickering’s website
BBC article

Basically, *sigh*, some Star Wars fans that have far too much time got beaten down by someone with a crutch, these annoying presenters explain:

Sorry about that, they really are very annoying. Anyway, below is the video of the epic battle…or not:

…so basically Chav Vader ‘pwnd’ them

I can’t figure if this guy is meant to the Hulk, The Green Goblin or that Green thing, Blanca, from Street Fighter 2? Boing Boing concurs and also managed to track down a He-Man commercial by the same brilliant advertising agency:

Is it me or does Skeletor belong at some kind of ‘nu rave’ event?