Look at the artwork. It makes me want to smash my screen. It looks like one of those pictures they get a group of people with mental health problems together to make to encourage teamwork and discourage sadness. Look at the name. Call The Doctor. What a shitty name. It sounds like a comedy house band from a Carry On film. So, two significant failures before anyone gets near the band, which makes it a double shame because the song isn’t that bad at all. It’s not in anyway punk. Maybe if you took punk and ironed it and sprayed it with Febreze and told it to be home before midnight and then it nodded in agreement, but if this even came close to punk it would break down in tears.

I got sent the whole album to listen to but I don’t want to. The songs alright, it has a nice vocal hook on the chorus and the singer has a nice voice and it’s pretty good. But really…it’s 2012. This sounds like it was dug up 15 years ago. Who’s it for ? If I want pretty boy melodic punk I’ll listen to the Strokes. If I want girly punk I’ll listen to Peaches or something. If you want to listen for yourself its over here :http://callthedoctor1.bandcamp.com/

Kim Monaghan

When I got notice through about a new Lorn album, I got pretty excited. “Nothing Else” was a huge album with a fistful of tunes that blew away a lot of other shitty namby pamby albums that year because it had both power and skill. It fed the heart and the head AND you could actually dance to it…so a lot to live up to.

I was a little bit worried, on reading the press release, to hear that he has added live drums and vocals and has also gone for a warmer sound. One of the things I loved about “Nothing Else” was its cold beauty. It had an almost gothic elegance to some of the melodies and at no point did I think “This needs drums and vocals” (ie: it needs to sound like virtually every other electronica act out there). The first couple of tunes pass by without incident. They’re not bad but one is just intro and the other is just an idea really, so the first proper tune is “Weigh Me Down” which features live drums and vocals. And it’s really fucking good. Continuing the kind of dubstep but without the clichés thing that he did so well on the first album, he has created a catchy almost pop song that is instantly recognizable as him but could quite easily be gracing some fucking car advert or something if he’s not careful.

“This” is another sketch really and “Diamond” is sort of ruined by a horrible trumpet sound half way through. In fact this is one of my beefs with this album. There are a few inadvisable synth noises that cheapen the tunes they appear in which is probably what the press release meant when it said he was aiming for a “warmer” sound but …if it isn’t broke why fix it ? Midway through the album I started to notice that there are some seriously familiar things going on too. The beats from “Everything Is Violence” sound exactly something off the first album (until he garnishes it with a “live” drum solo) and while Lorn beats are a definite strength they do stick to a formula.

“The Well” is another good tune that is besmirched by a bad synth solo but it becomes a whole different thing when he lets everything drift off and decides to go all ethereal with a fuzzy sonar noise and a big Autechre style bass. This minute and a half and “Weigh Me Down” are easily the best moments on the album. “The Gun” is great sounding but is a bit too reminiscent of Kangding Ray for my liking and that’s where the whole vocal thing seems to be coming from.

For every good thing I find on this album (like the Cello bass on “Ghosst(s)) there is an annoying car alarm sound (like on “Dead Dogs”) that annoys me. Overall I like the album but not as much as “Nothing Else” but only time will tell, I suppose, on whether this is a viable follow up to that album.

Out soon on Ninja Tune http://ninjatune.net/release/lorn/ask-the-dust

Kim Monaghan

Bassline house is a term I have only used in a derogatory sense before now. For instance if I was to have an encounter with someone and they performed unsatisfactorily I would say something like “You’re less use than bassline house” or if I was eating something that didn’t taste nice I would say “This tastes worse than bassline house.” That’s because previously the only bassline house I heard was flung out of shitty cars, converted to look like futuristic training shoes, driven by crudely carved lumps of fat disguised as human beings. But Dj Q is here to shut my stupid mouth for me and I’m glad he has.

On paper I should be behind bassline all the way. I loved drum n bass (thanks Chase and Status / Pendulum you fucking backward pricks), I loved Reso and about three of the dubstep tunes that appeared when it was first christened (not any of the hipster rubbish that sounds like techno crying). I even liked about three speed garage tunes so its about time someone gave me some reason to like bassline house. And this is it.

The titular tune (you simply won’t get this kind of quality alliteration in other reviews) is the weakest of the two because it goes all dark and moody, and while it is effective Reso would just laugh at it then destroy it with a mere raised eyebrow. The other tune however “Swing” is great. Nothing unexpected, nothing too daring just a great big bassline that bounds around like Clifford the big red dog would if he was made of bass.  There are sped up vocal samples and rave horns and some Mr. Oizo noises….basically its just speed garage but the whole thing made me want to get fucking trollied and dance like a fucking trollied idiot. I didn’t though I sat and wrote a review about it while having a cup of tea because I’m sensible.

Out now. Buy it.  http://ninjatune.net/shop/labels/girls-music

Kim Monaghan

Boasting a name of distinction (for younger listeners it’s a reference to the Midwich Cuckoos, an excellent film based on the excellent book by John Wyndham) I am slightly familiar with one of their affiliated projects Jerk Test. That takes care of the opening paragraph.

I had no idea what to expect of this album and was quite intrigued to be presented with instrumental synth pop. There isn’t a huge amount of synth pop in my collection, and what there is of it is usually bedecked with vocals (Air, Depeche Mode) because for the most part it’s aimed at a pop audience and the proles love vocals.

It’s well produced with a smattering of sounds and ideas ranging from 70’s synth prog to 8 bit. This isn’t craven nostalgia, more like a chimera of good ideas from the whole scene as conceived by a connoisseur. Sadly I don’t have the song titles but “Foam”, ”Do The Zombie” and track 4 are a really excellent opening salvo for the album with number 4 being a firm favourite. Think Moroder soundtracking The Evil Dead while Jan Hammer and Air dance on a podium in the background. The album is bristling with ideas and Allan Murphy (the singular mind behind this strange jaunt) is obviously a clever chap because he has firm grip on all the aspects of programming that this album requires (drums/bass/synth) but also a great ear for the hooks and stuff that make pop “poppy” for example track 5 is like Blondie playing a new theme tune for Grandstand while track 6 is like David Bowie jamming with Kraftwerk.

I reviewed the Human Don’t Be Angry album earlier this year, which was kind of like synth pop but this is much better and a much more fun album and I urge you to indulge yourself in its eccentricities. It’s a shame there isn’t some sort of monthly music podcast where two people (maybe with initial names beginning with K) can play cool music they’re discovered recently.

http://midwichyouthclub.bandcamp.com/album/we-swim-in-the-neon-sea

Kim Monaghan

With last years OVO album Supernatural Cat introduced themselves to me in a pretty unique and memorable fashion, so it was with some excitement that I received this album. Beautifully packaged with a very Rennie Mackintosh cover illustration I didn’t have any real idea of what to expect. Maybe some alt folk noodling or electronic jazz ? I wasn’t expecting what sounds like a furious confrontation between Lightning Bolt, Judas Priest and Mastodon. Intensely fast and complicated riffs with shuffling changes in time signature that give everything a groove (sorry) that takes it out of the brutal but flat zone that progressive metal can sometimes sit in.

The first nine tracks are pretty short and butt up against each other, taking in the full gamut of what it means to be an experimental (ish) metal band with the tenth being a big long wig out that takes in some of the sights of the preceding half hour.  Sickly, insectile sounding synths appear occasionally, breaking up the relentless assault of crazily dynamic drum / bass and guitar lines that intertwine throughout each song. This is a very tight sounding band on record and they are blessed with a vocalist who can do aggression without lapsing into monotone. In fact there are points at which I’m genuinely concerned that I’m going to hear a sort of wet meaty noise as he ejects his kidneys due to excessive screaming.

This is the bands third album and I’m certainly inspired enough to track down the first two.The only problem I can see with the album is that googling their name will not bring you to the band but the classic Japanese PS2 puzzle game but it’s yet another feather in Supernatural Cat’s crown. Keep ‘em coming. I’m just disappointed that there isn’t some sort of monthly podcast sort of affair where say… a couple of people could play cool tunes that they’ve found in the preceding weeks for the delectation of the general public. Then I could play “Kochab” because it’s awesome.

It’s out on May 7th on Supernatural Cat http://supernaturalcat.bigcartel.com/

Kim Monaghan

Since they appeared last year, Broken Shoulder have been very busy, with split EP’s and charity compilations and radio sessions going on. This cheers me immensely because as much as I love the band (it’s just one person) it’s not making any overt attempts to attract anyone, in fact if you look at the topography of Broken Shoulder’s career to date it appears to be an attempt to repel as many listeners as possible.

Instrumental, lo-fi, experimental and now tape bound. That’s right this is a tape release (if we have any readers under twenty five years old a tape was like a plastic house for audio string) just to compound the non-commercial appeal of the whole escapade. “Oak and Mirrors” was from a session that Debnam recorded for Dandelion radio. It’s 20 minutes long and it’s a bit like watching a kitten attempt to stay awake when it separately needs a nap. Fuzzy warm shapes drift so slowly in and out of your ears that it’s quite hard to register when things have changed. Atonal and dissonant guitar drones buzz like lawnmowers and gentle elastic bass lines boing round like refracted light. A more peaceful 20 minutes I don’t think you can ask for. Love it.

Side B is comprised of three “songs” although it seems odd using the same nomenclature for the bleached out chord of “Other Tropisms” as it does for the violent, noisy ejections of tainted faeces that hotly spurt from people’s mobile phones, cars and shops (which they also consider “songs”). If you’re looking for a spiritual antithesis to the insanity of modern music then I can’t really recommend this tape enough. It doesn’t offer you anything solid. No answers, no hooks, melodies, beats. Nothing. It’s a blank canvas (virtually) for your mind to wander round, with only this strangely hopeful set of noises to let you know that you’re in a good place. And while you’re here politicians, the economy, Fearne Cotton and Strictly Come Dancing are rightly banished to the world of nightmares that they came from.

http://tapeyourmouth.bandcamp.com/album/the-tape-of-disquiet

Kim Monaghan

After the demise of Arab Strap, Malcolm Middleton went mental. He released two albums of super hi-energy, punky stuff that had brilliant lyrics and one of the best Christmas singles I’ve ever heard. I think Aidan Moffitt must have kept him on Thorazine or something, because while Arab Strap specialized in spacious first gear melancholia, Middleton’s solo albums have been the exact opposite.

I have heard nothing from either of them for a while (musically, I’m not mates with them or anything) and was as pleased as pleased can be when I got sent this. The cover was a kind of pastiche of some seventies board game and the title is great so my expectations were high. Imagine my surprise then to hear that Middleton has metamorphosised  somewhat to create an album that is nothing like any pf his previous two albums. It’s not overtly Arab Strap-py either because there are very few vocals, but it’s definitely a lot slower and sadder than I was expecting.

The opening few tracks sort of sound like a cross between the soundtrack for a spy film and an advert for “Visit Scotland” featuring vibraphones, electric guitars, real and programmed drums and a much reduced pace. I like the melodies but without Middleton’s vocals it doesn’t seem to reach the heights that previous albums have. The first point where I really started to enjoy myself was on “Monologue:River” which is a very simple electric guitar riff and piano thing that turns into a Dad-rock epic with the addition of a rolling Toms section and multi-tracked “Whoahs” that is both as cheesy as fuck and also strangely emotional. It’s this track that made me think of a Visit Scotland campaign. It also made me think of Malcolm playing the solo on a clifftop with the wind blowing through his …uh… skinhead.

The other influence that comes to mind on this album is Air. I think it’s the combinations of programmed drums and real instruments and vocals, plus Air always had an eye for beautiful arrangements. This is at its most apparent on “Jaded” which is another pleasant stroll through sunny vibraphones and spacious guitar lines, that manages to make you feel like you’re on a train. Not a bad train like in London but a nice one going across the Forth bridge on Scotland’s sunny day.

The most surprising point is a sort of Phillip Glass type thing where he plays a bit of a wanky guitar solo over a sampled vocal “Ha” that he multi tracks to create said Glass-iness. I really don’t know how I feel about this tune. It’s ludicrously Dad rock (with all the cheese that implies) with more than a hint of Sigur Ros but also features booming 4/4 kick, crowd “Heys !” and claps and distorted synth stabs that make me behave like a Higgs-Boson. I love it and hate it simultaneously which is how I also feel about “Askliipio”. It’s a beautiful song but within the first four bars I had turned it into “Knocking On Heavens Door”. And that’s because it bears a similarity. Unlike a lot of people, you know with Malcolm that there is no attempt to rip anyone off. It’s just an unfortunate accident and he manages to completely overcome this initial “Eeeew” moment with some beautiful spectral guitar work and some of the most bizarre lyrics he’s ever worked on :

“I’m coming your way ….with an attack on your fingers….don’t think that by the end of today you’ll have any digit free….I’ll give you a dead eel for Christmas….freaky memories survive….”

So, I’ve listened to this album three times this week and I’m still not sure what to make of it. Is it a guilty pleasure on account of being too Dadrock ? Is it a nod to Arab Strap’s past ? Is Malcolm alright ? I don’t know the answer to any of these questions and while this album may not be as instantly appealing as his others, neither is it as murk-bound as the Arab Strap albums. It seems that Mr. Middleton is making music for himself at his own pace with his own ideas and his own destination in mind. Imagine that.

Kim Monaghan

So as a reviewer it is obviously primarily my main goal to write things that are funny and that make me look clever and cool and maybe just a little bit sexy. This is because all music journalists (that’s what I say I am to people who don’t know me, just for a laugh) are failed musicians and need to make themselves feel better by laughing at other people’s music. If they point and laugh then they hope that people won’t turn round and ask them “What do you do?” because, honestly music journalists, writing about music isn’t a proper thing to do. Doing things with a shovel or carrying things is a job, but writing about music isn’t a job. Physics tells me that.

So it is with great irritation that I find myself writing about this compilation on Audio Antihero. I’m annoyed because it is in aid of a charity that is aiming to prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Now I tried and tried to get a gag out of this but some part of my brain kept flashing a warning light. So, denuded of my weapon of choice what am I to do? I’m going to do the earnest thing. People like that in place of humour sometimes.

This is a really great compilation. I am shy of bands I don’t know (don’t ask) and this was full of them but almost all of them are friendly and good. Highlights include bands that we have previously issued glowing reviews to (such as Broken Shoulder, Paul Hawkins and the Awkward Silences, Fighting Kites, Wartgore Hellsnicker and Benjamin Shaw) who all offer excellent new and exclusive items. There are also some exciting new prospects on there, such as BITCHES, Superman Revenge Squad (formerly one half of Nosferatu D2) and “tom” all of whom provide excellent value for money, which brings me to economics. This album is available from Bandcamp for £3.99 for which you get 36 songs. That works out at 11.3333 a song. Call it 12p. This is clearly why the compilation is so named (grammatic errors and all). Because only in some alternate universe (I’m not doing the full stops) should one be able to buy an album with this many good songs for this kind of price. In fact, I will go as far as this. If you have read this far and decided not to buy it that makes you essentially a baby killer. Just saying.

http://audioantihero.bandcamp.com/album/audio-antihero-presents-some-alternate-universe-for-fsid

Kim Monaghan 

I like the name Psychic Eye Clix. It’s sort of funny for a little while because it’s like a tongue twister. “Serious Idiots” is also like a joke because it’s sort of an oxymoron. So this is obviously a comedy act. That’s a relief because I hate doing bad reviews and this had bad review written all over it. So I’m reviewing this as a comedy record.

First track is nonsensical dubstep with an industrial / drum’n’bass slant, littered with clips from that interview where John Lydon was being a prick in the 70’s.Well that’s quite funny I suppose. Second track is an ADHD dubstep mix of “Feral” by Radiohead. I don’t personally find it funny but I’m sure Thom would as he likes dubstep and messing about with remixes. The third track has me foxed because I can’t see anything funny about it but it’s on a comedy record so there must be something funny about a dubstep remix of “Let England Shake” that I’m not spotting. I wonder what it is.  Last up is a mangled version of some kind of progressive metal.

I estimate that this EP was produced in under an hour using Ableton, Reaktor and some kind of generic dubstep soundkit. I estimate that Double Edge Scissor and Psychic Eye Clix will not be happy with this review. I estimate that if you are able to concentrate for longer than three seconds that you will be appalled by this juddering mess and should avoid it conscientiously.

http://doubledgescissor.wordpress.com

Kim Monaghan   

I reviewed Kingbastard’s “Brainfunk” EP in the summer of last year and found it to be pleasant and cheerful, if not necessarily the most important thing I have ever listened to. Well “Lost Property” is a new full length album on Herb Recordings that is themed around the discovery of an abandoned house while mooching round the Welsh countryside. I got shouted at last time for saying that Chris Weekes AKA Kingbastard used samples on the “Brainfunk” EP, so I am going to attempt to get everything right in this review. A Herculean task for me but here we go.

The album features ghostly vocals, chiming guitar lines and more lo-fi snap, crackle and pop than if Rice Krispies were to start making those cereal elves smoke dope. Are they elves or goblins ? Do they poop in the packet ? So many questions. Whereas “Brainfunk” was a solid song based affair, “Lost Property” is an ethereal ambient journey that steers a wobbly line somewhere between the influences of Brian Eno, The Orb and Ry Cooder. The ambient drone of “Abandoned”, the fuzzy BoC meets prog rock electronica of “Fireplace” or the vaguely haunted “Rocking Chair” define the tone of this album best for me. Somehow or other Kingbastard has managed to accurately convey the (mostly) nice feelings I would associate with  wandering round a decrepit house in the middle of nowhere.  Or maybe if I had been told it was written about an underwater clown show I would have felt like it accurately reflected that as a listening experience. Without wanting to argue with myself in public I suppose what I’m saying is that this is an ambient album in the best sense of the word. It makes you feel like you’re somewhere else. Somewhere nice.  There’s nothing mindblowing about the simple strummed guitar chords that decorate “Detached” but if you listen to it with your eyes closed its like being encased in a ski suit made of hot jam. Now I’ve tried for years to find such an item but I can’t so I’m happy someone has invented the audio equivalent.

And so it goes. Song after song of warm dreamy tunes until you’re floating round in a bit of a daze. Then the album ends and you sort of miss it a bit. But it’s ok because it’s still there and you can listen to it when you like.

http://herbrecordings.bandcamp.com/album/lost-property

Kim Monaghan